I watched my volunteer interact with my boys. She would sit with them on the rug, playing games and singing songs, and they really loved it. It just hadn’t occurred to me that I could enjoy my children. Instead, I felt angry, resentful, tired and I felt like they had ruined my life.

My volunteer helped me connect with my babies. She modelled for me how to play with and enjoy my children and it happened in my own home, using my own resources. And now I enjoy playing with my boys. I like to be with them, and I enjoy their company.

I’m an only child with no extended family and no in-laws. My mother died a few weeks after my first child was born. As the months passed, I realised I didn’t have an older female in my life to guide me with parenting, to tell me if my baby was normal, if I was doing a good job, or even what I should be doing with him at home each day. I read internet articles and books and tried to follow every single item of advice perfectly, in case I let my baby down. I started to believe I was doing a poor job and that my baby’s future was ruined and there was no chance of redemption. I self-harmed and thought about suicide. Every day, I apologised to my baby because I was such a poor mother.
Thankfully, my Home-Start volunteer came into my life. She is the wise older woman in my life who has experience with children, listens to my endless concerns, and reassures me that my children are okay. I can’t describe how comforting it is to share the heavy load of child raising with someone who feels like family, even if it’s only for two hours a week. I have no other family members or older females to share time like this with. Sometimes we just play with the kids, other times she helps me get to appointments. I have no one else to help me while my husband is at work, so my Home-Start volunteer is a God-send and I am incredibly grateful.

Having four children under four-and-a-half (two of them being 12 week old twins) I literally needed help with everything, I had no time to clean the house, do basic chores like laundry, and it was a constant juggling act with two babies who both wanted to be held all of the time. My husband works six days a week and all of our extended family lives a long way away. I had no family support. I was feeling absolutely overwhelmed. I didn’t know how I would cope, trying to manage the children, house and work from home while retaining my sanity.
Things are infinitely better thanks to my volunteer. She comes every Tuesday and spends five hours with us. In that time, I usually fold multiple laundry baskets worth of clothes, do a quick tidy up while she sits with the kids or sometimes we will do the grocery shopping and she helps keep the children from running amok. Today I was particularly exhausted and had a nap while the babies were asleep and she played with the older children. She often hangs out washing for me and is always happy to sit and listen, offering advice on any troubling issues I’m having. Just knowing that I will have a few hours help with all of my young children so I can try and get on top of things, definitely makes a huge difference to my mental health.