I’m an only child with no extended family and no in-laws. My mother died a few weeks after my first child was born. As the months passed, I realised I didn’t have an older female in my life to guide me with parenting, to tell me if my baby was normal, if I was doing a good job, or even what I should be doing with him at home each day. I read internet articles and books and tried to follow every single item of advice perfectly, in case I let my baby down. I started to believe I was doing a poor job and that my baby’s future was ruined and there was no chance of redemption. I self-harmed and thought about suicide. Every day, I apologised to my baby because I was such a poor mother.
Thankfully, my Home-Start volunteer came into my life. She is the wise older woman in my life who has experience with children, listens to my endless concerns, and reassures me that my children are okay. I can’t describe how comforting it is to share the heavy load of child raising with someone who feels like family, even if it’s only for two hours a week. I have no other family members or older females to share time like this with. Sometimes we just play with the kids, other times she helps me get to appointments. I have no one else to help me while my husband is at work, so my Home-Start volunteer is a God-send and I am incredibly grateful.
